Golfing nun

LXtasy · 08-01-2010, 02:40 PM

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior . 'I thought this was the day You spent with your family.'

'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'

'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'

'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'

'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!'

'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother Superior - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green....and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.

And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !'

'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you Blaspheme, Sister!'

'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had
Happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'

'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.

'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I Was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky And grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'

'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.
'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as
The hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

'You missed the fuckin' putt, didn't you?'

LadyInRed · 08-01-2010, 03:27 PM

clubracergt1 · 08-02-2010, 06:19 AM

Carlrx7 · 08-02-2010, 08:54 AM

good one!

Shane361 · 08-02-2010, 11:52 AM

Audie1 · 08-06-2010, 11:47 PM

08-01-2010, 02:40 PM	#1
LXtasy Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Summerville, SC Posts: 9,564	Golfing nun A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior . 'I thought this was the day You spent with your family.' 'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.' 'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?' 'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!' 'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!' 'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother Superior - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green....and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !' 'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you Blaspheme, Sister!' 'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had Happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!' 'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother. 'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I Was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky And grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!' 'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile. 'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as The hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!' Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said... 'You missed the fuckin' putt, didn't you?' __________________

08-01-2010, 03:27 PM	#2
LadyInRed Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Charleston Posts: 1,579	__________________ 2011 Mustang 3.7L 6spd 2001 Ram 2500 Cummins TT 6spd 1998 Camaro Z28 LS1 6spd 1984 Camaro Z28

08-02-2010, 06:19 AM	#3
clubracergt1 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: The Great, white North (Chicagoland) Posts: 2,483	__________________ This space for rent

08-02-2010, 08:54 AM	#4
Carlrx7 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Ladson,SC Posts: 3,813	good one! __________________ Dark Aladdin

08-02-2010, 11:52 AM	#5
Shane361 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The Creek Posts: 2,622	__________________ 2015 Comp Orange Procharged GT Mustang 2018 Grey Ford F150 XLT Sport 4x4

08-06-2010, 11:47 PM	#6
Audie1 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Summerville, SC Posts: 931	__________________ 1987 Buick Grand National